I’m Sorry

 

I’m sorry I’m not a genius.  I’m sorry I’m not thin.  I’m sorry I’m not a racecar driver.  I’m sorry I don’t make more money.  I’m sorry cars aren’t the most important thing in the world.  I’m sorry that I want you to spend time with me instead of playing games.  I’m sorry I’m not perfect.  I’m sorry I put the toilet paper over instead of under and I’m sorry I don’t always hang up my towels after I take a shower.  I’m sorry the music I listen to is crap and the clothes I wear are “trendy.”  I’m sorry I don’t like wearing dresses.  I’m sorry I don’t do all the laundry or do it quickly from hamper back to drawer.  I’m sorry I lied to you.  I’m sorry I hide my feelings.  I’m sorry I put on a show.  I’m sorry I’m not more generous and kind to strangers.  I’m sorry I’m rude.  I’m sorry I belch.  I’m sorry I have headaches.  I’m sorry I’m not strong and fit.  I’m sorry I wear make-up and perfume and like to have my hair up.  I’m sorry I think your Beta is ugly.  I’m sorry I don’t care about the proof to the quadratic equation.  I’m sorry I leave the outside lights on and I’m sorry I usually forget to take out the trash until you get home Sunday nights.  I’m sorry I screw everything up.  I’m sorry that I’ll never learn to get along with your father and that I’ll never tolerate that part of you that is just like him.  I’m sorry I get hurt easily – physically and emotionally.  I’m sorry I’m clumsy.  I’m sorry I leave plastic bags on the floor for the kitties to play with.  I’m sorry I didn’t tell you that the cats were part Siamese.  I’m sorry I won’t let you shoot the birds and squirrels.  I’m sorry I make the blinds point down instead of up.  I’m sorry I’m paranoid.  I’m sorry I care about you.  I’m sorry I hate you.  I’m sorry I’m a bitch.  I’m sorry you can’t understand me and I’m sorry I don’t make it easy.  I’m sorry I can’t have what everyone else has.  I’m sorry I didn’t tell you not to buy the Buick.  I’m sorry we’re poor.  I’m sorry I’m not what you expected.  I’m sorry I don’t like your stories and I’m sorry we don’t connect on any level.   I’m sorry I want your hair short and for you to act normal in public.  I’m sorry I get crumbs in the bed.  I’m sorry I mix up the clothes in the closet.  I’m sorry I don’t unroll my socks before I put them in the hamper and I’m sorry I’m always tired.  I’m sorry I lost your keychain and the Australian coins and I’m sorry I broke your necklace countless times.  I’m sorry I don’t like drugs or you drinking.  I’m sorry I’m a prude.  I’m sorry I have no friends and I’m sorry I don’t always remember to take my pills on time.  I’m sorry I forget to remind you to put your deodorant on and I’m sorry I don’t like your friends.  I’m sorry I bleed once a month and I’m sorry my internet’s not fast enough for you.  I’m sorry that the clock in the bathroom talks and that the basement keeps flooding.  I’m sorry I sometimes wear contacts.  I’m sorry I bite my nails.  I’m sorry I have a small bladder.  I’m sorry that I always give up and walk away.  I’m sorry that I haven’t said “I love you” today, but would it really make a difference?  Would you believe me?  I’m sorry I watch TV in bed and I’m sorry I never record South Park for you.  I’m sorry I’m too short to reach the top shelf and too weak to open jars.  I’m sorry I love starchy foods and never know when to stop.  I’m sorry when you read Garfield aloud it drives me up the wall.  I’m sorry I hate the cats.  I’m sorry I complain about the way you do dishes, laundry, clean up the house…  I’m sorry you’re stuck with me and I’m sorry you said “I DO” without really knowing what you were getting into.  I’m sorry we can’t agree on how to decorate the house, or much of anything for that matter.  I’m sorry the shows I like to watch are crap and I’m sorry I don’t love James Bond or John Wayne.  I’m sorry I hate getting my picture taken and I’m sorry I can’t hear the static in the speakers or see the fuzz in the picture.  I’m sorry I don’t put the remote in the same place every time.  I’m sorry I always have a glass of water in bed and that I never take it to the sink.  I’m sorry I’m not good enough for you.  I’m sorry I don’t recognize your good qualities and how you’ve changed for me and how hard you try to keep us together.  I’m sorry I overreact.  I’m sorry I don’t read all the directions before beginning.  I’m sorry I don’t appreciate your umbrella.  I’m sorry you work hard and go to school just to make ends meet.  I’m sorry I’m a disappointment.  I’m sorry this letter is so long and so full of bullshit that will just piss you off more.


Back